Australia Day is a day I do not look forward to, yet it is also a day I acknowledge and observe. It carries a complex mix of emotions that are difficult to reconcile.

My Ngarrindjeri heritage is grounded in survival and resilience, while also mourning the profound impacts of colonisation. My English, Scottish, and Irish heritage likewise speaks of survival, while mourning the pain of displacement and hardship.

As a child, my wife’s mother and her family arrived in Australia from England as “Ten Pound Poms,” seeking the promise of a better life. In contrast, my parents, grandparents, and ancestors on my Ngarrindjeri side were forced into poverty and hardship so that others could prosper.

Should I resent my wife and her family for seeking opportunity and hope? As a Ngarrindjeri family, we are proud of who we are, knowing that the hardships endured by our people forged resilience, strength, and humility.

Australia Day presents a dilemma. Missionaries played a role in the loss of language, culture, and identity for many First Nations peoples. Yet, paradoxically, they also documented these same cultures as anthropologists and researchers, allowing us today to rediscover language, culture, and identity that were nearly lost. Should they be condemned, or should their actions also be acknowledged in their complexity?

On my father’s side, we did not know who his father was until recent research uncovered the truth. My father passed away in 1979, never knowing acknowledgement or acceptance from his own father. Through research, I discovered that my grandfather was an Australian entrepreneur and successful business owner from the southeast of South Australia.

Should this history lead me to hate him, or to resent all Australians? I do not believe so. Because of my father’s resilience and humility, I am who I am today. He was treated as an equal by his non-Aboriginal colleagues, valued for his hard work and character.

The families and friends I grew up with continue to treat me as an equal, without division based on colour or identity. Should I embrace this unity, or dwell solely on past injustice?

Australia Day embodies celebration, mourning, anger, reflection, and every emotion in between. It invites us to imagine alternative narratives and to recognise that perspectives can differ profoundly depending on lived experience.

My message is simple:

Celebrate being Australian.
Celebrate being First Nations.
Celebrate living in Australia.
Celebrate who you are.

Above all, never lose sight of what earlier generations endured, for it is because of their sacrifices that we have the lives we live today, and it is through them that we understand who we are.